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An example of Mary-Sue: Aiko Kirei
Please note, that this is just an example of a classic Mary-Sue. I am not saying that if your OC has these traits, they are Mary-Sues. This is just a small example to keep in mind while creating an OC. This is not an actual character. Apologies if I used a name the same as your OCs, please just ignore that. To help you out if you're a new writer or don't understand the way Mary Sue works, I've written some additional points below which will help you out. Kirei Aiko (きれい 葵子 meaning "beautiful lovechild"). Background Kirei Aiko is a child of Uchiha Misa and Hyuga Chikamasa. Her parents have moved out of Konoha when her mother was pregnant and settled outsideof the village. When Kirei was 5, both of her parents were killed when someone came and attacked them at night. She was the only one left alive, because she defended herself using the mix of Sharingan and Byakugan. The murderer turned out to be someone with connections to the Akatsuki. Upon seeing her potential, he has informed the Akatsuki leader, who ordered the man to kidnap her. On the way, she has escaped and fled to Konoha, where she was taken into the local orphanage where she met Naruto and Sasuke whom she made friends with immidietely. She was hated as a child and everyone was quite scared of her, because of her Bloodline Limit. There have been several assassination attempts, but they all failed because she kept on killing the ANBU who came for her. With time, Orochimaru heard of her skills. He ordered a group of ninjas to track her down and bring her to him. The only thing in the way was the Akatsuki, who were also after her, and the people of Konoha, who promised to defend her at all costs. Personality Aiko is usually under control, and she is quite confident when she needs to be. She always analyzes the situation and thinks before she does something. She can become extremely hyper sometimes. Quite charming, she is careful with her actions as she does not like attention that she gets. She doesn't get jealous and blows things off easily, making her universal to her situation. She knows the solution to almost every problem and never has any difficulties getting to where she wants to be. She never loses her cool and lacks the ability to embarass herself. Appearance Aiko is often described to be quite beautiful, which is also indicated by her name and surname. Her surname was given to her by Kakashi when she refused to join neither Hyuga or Uchiha clan after they were fighting for her. Se has two different eyes, one containing Sharingan, while the other has Byakugan. She is usually seen wearing a black knee-lenght kimono, tied with a red obi and normal, ankle-length ninja shoes. Many girls tend to get jealous over her not gaining weight, while she doesn't care what she eats. Ino often stalks her to see if she really doen't excercise or starve herself in order to maintain her looks. Abilities Aiko is able to use Sharingan and Byakugan on extremely high levels. She graduated the academy at the age of 8 and became a Chunin at the age of 12. It is predicted that she will be Kage level or at least an Elite Jounin by the age of 16. Most of her skills are unknown to many, due to her being trained in private and individually by Kakashi and Gai. Gai mentioned at some point that she is close to his level at Taijustu, and Kakashi's with the Sharingan. She is still working on her Byakugan, thus is weaker than Neji, but will soon surpass him. ''Additional Points '' *Always be careful with pairings. Keep the OOC (out-of-character) to a minimum, unless you have a really good idea for it. *Keep your OC at a human level - no demons, nekos, random animals, elves, vampires, werewolves... Unless it's a specific AU (alternate universe) or Crossover fic. *Avoid bright, differing colours in genetics. Clashing colours in hair, or two differently coloured eyes. Avoid "eyes change colour according to mood" at all costs. *If possible, also avoid random relative of a canon character. It doesn't have to be bad, but it's way overdone, and easily gets the label of Mary Sue/Gary Stu even if you do develop your character. Be cautious with this. *Avoid generic names, Western names, and otherwise inappropriate names. Googling some Japanese names will get you better results than plucking out a name from already existing Naruto characters. *Mental and physical illnesses are fine, but make sure you do your research. Mistakes with depicting an illness can offend people. *Flaws are a big plus. Be sure to elaborate on them just as much as the good points of your OC. *If you want your OC to develop over time, you'll want to avoid sticking to one personality. Remember, Sasuke used to be adorable once. It's the events that shape people. For Your Amusement Below is a kekkei genkai for your amusement--Mary-Sue of course. Instant Kill no Jutsu Instant Kill no Jutsu will kill your opponent no matter how strong they are or what skills or defenses they have. There is absolutely no defense against this technique and it can be performed in an instant, with minimal effort, and as many times as the user wants. It can also instantly kill large groups of opponents, up to 1,000 at a time. This jutsu is especially good for saving time, cutting short tedious trash talking and/or unnecessary explanations, and moving the plot forward. With this technique, you can also enter InstaKill mode. When InstaKill mode is active, and it always is, it will automatically kill anyone who even thinks about harming you, no matter where they are. So if some dumb ninja tries be stealthy and get the jump on you by hiding in a bush, he/she will explode as soon as he/she sees you. This also doesn't require any chakra so Instant Kill no Jutsu is always active. Its even active when you are asleep. Instant Kill no Jutsu can't be copied by Sharingan, so don't even try that bullshit or it will automatically kill you. THIS CHARACTER WAS NOT DESIGNED BY ME COPYRIGHT BELONGS TO XStarcandy @ http://narutooriginals.wikia.com/wiki/User:XStarcandy Category:Original Characters